How Oprah's Life and Mine Are the Same

I always thought it uncanny how similar Oprah’s life and mine are. Although she recently retired, Oprah Winfrey’s as busy as ever in the role of Mother Confessor to the likes of O.J. and Fergie. No, not that Fergie, the less fortunate sister-in-law to Princess Di Fergie.

In fact, we're so alike, you just may find yourself telling me things no one should know.

Look Under Your Seats!
Oprah: When she’d shout this mania-inducing phrase, her studio audience went nuts. They’ll reach down and find a fab gift -- could be a first edition novel or a brand new smart phone.
Me: When I shout, “Look under your seat!” there’s either a mouse or a big, hairy spider about to crawl up your leg.

The Book Club
Oprah: She made reading fashionable when she chatted up the wonders of the written word. Book clubs formed around the world based on her book recommendations.
Me: My girlfriends and I finally gave up the quaint notion of reading books en masse. Our merry group meets to sip wine, gossip and eat. Is there really anything else?

My Favorite Things
Oprah: Oprah indulges herself and her friends in once-in-a-lifetime vacations, lavish spa treatments, and expensive cars.
Me: My favorite things include the ability to pay my monthly bills, the discovery of clean towels when I step from the shower, and the joy of a full tank of gas.

Weighty Issues
Oprah: She’s famously battled weight, and we’ve watched every pound lost and then regained, all with assistance from celebrity chefs and trainers. It looks like Oprah’s finally settled into a comfortably “healthy” look.
Me: I’m famous for consistently maintaining the same dumpy shape through the decades -- without help from anyone. I've settled for the body of Susan Boyle.

Meteoric Rise to Fame and Power
Oprah: She went from hometown TV gal to the most influential woman in show biz. She’s got wealth, power, fame and the ability to connect with just about anyone.
Me: I’m the hometown gal who’s the most influential woman in --. Okay, maybe this is where Oprah and I part ways.

Good luck to Oprah in her retirement. I only hope she can now relax and find her own way without looking to me for inspiration!